You Know what Rhymes with Turtle?
by xxxMirendaCrosgrovexxx
Summary: Michelangelo is having a hard time convincing Donatello that to truly live means to have physical relations with the same team. Then, in the slum of New York, he meets just the right man to fix everything.


It was a dark and stormy night. Rain was tapping on the windowpane. The Moon's everlasting glow illuminated the apartment. It was quite the usual for Sundays in the New York City during July. The door opened. After locking it, he trampled across the room and fell on the bed. Exhausted, he breathed heavily and looked into the ceiling, thinking that tomorrow is just going to be an another boring day….

Aside from his wife dying in a tragic accident, where wasps rapidly stung her peanut butter covered vagina she was trying to get the dog to lick, Carl was having a shit day. In the morning, he was pleasuring himself to a video of a 5 year old girl being pissed on and sodomized simultaneously, when all of a sudden his internet proxy died on him. He immediately closed TOR, not to attract the authorities. Trying to fix the proxy, he became more and more aggravated as he had been saving his ball juice for over a month. Blueballed and furious, he left to find kids to molest.

To his surprise, there weren't any children nearby. Not long after and it started to rain and he way well away from home. He ran under a bridge that hung over an empty canal connected to the sewers. He was just starting to get cold when he saw a figure in the distance. He couldn't quite make out the colors or the shape, but he saw the figure was approaching. Deciding not to pay much attention to it, he sat waiting for the weather to settle, hoping for this rotten day to end as quick as it could. Eventually it got darker and darker. Looking back to the side, he suddenly jumped as he realized the mysterious figure got much closer to him. Not only that, but now he saw the figure was actually 2 people. He couldn't see how they looked very well, but he could see their large and strange anatomy. Now that he thought about it, they didn't look human at all. As soon as the first lighting striked he would know that they were really

TURTLES!

He tried to scream, but one of them wrapped a chloroform damped cumrag around his mouth while the other one held him in place. Soon he lost consciousness and one of them carried him over his shoulder. One of them sipped some roofied beer into Carl's mouth. After going through the massive tunnels of the labyrinth like sewer, the two ended up at their destination, the base.

"Yo bros, you're back home! That must have been one hell of a mission." Raphael said, "Who the hell's that you're carrying?"

"Why don't you ask **him**?" Leonardo said, giving Michelangelo a dirty look.

"What? I'm just giving Donnie a hand with losing his virginity." Michelangelo defended himself.

"Jeez Mikey, he told you he's not gay; would you just leave the guy alone?"

"What's that Raph? Next you're going to suggest that church we burned last week was a bad thing? You think I'd let any of my brothers take part in the disgusting sick filth called heterosexuality? I'd never let that happen. I'd kick your ass before you could. And probably fuck it too in the meantime."

Leo just stood there and sighed. He was quite tired from the mission of bombing an elementary school yesterday and seeking men to kidnap with Mike, so he decided to go sleep after doing so much work. Mike took his handcuffs and his ball gag. He then bound and gagged Carl and locked him in the closet just to be safe.

"Damn bro, you really have some determination. But what's the point? If Donnie isn't gay, you should just give up on this dumb charade?" Raphael said, thinking of ordering a pizza or two.

"And you believe him? How the hell would he know how he feels about it? He's never experienced it in any way. He never even had sex with any of us. He can't possibly know jack shit about it" Mike said, a bit annoyed at the fact Raph would doubt him, "I'll show you tonight!"

"Sure, whatever you say…"

…..

"Hey Donnie!"

"Oh, why hello Michelangelo."

"What are you working on?"

"Not much. Just tinkering. Do you need something?"

"Um, well... actually..."

"No."

"Huh, I hadn't said anything."

"Yes, but I can already tell what you were going to. You brought me another guy to fuck didn't you?"

"Well… I might've…"

"For fuck's sake Mikey! Didn't I tell you a thousand times? I'm not gay, so fucking stop doing this shit, would you?"

"Stop being such a little baby, Donnie. How would you know what's good for you? What do you know about sex? Have you even masturbated once?"

At that moment Donatello exploded and ran away in anger. Michelangelo just stood there in confusion as to why his brother was being such a fucking cooze at the moment. He decided to shrug it off and went back to the living room like portion of the base, where he caught Raphael with a smug look on his face.

"Didn't go so well now, did it?"

"Oh shut the fuck up, Raph!"

"Well anyway, what're you gonna do with the dude now that he's useless booty? Throw 'im away?"

"You out of your mind? I'm not giving up that easily! Besides, the quantity of roofies I fed him before he got there will hold him until at least midnight."

"Whatever you say, bro."

…..

Donatello decided to take a walk on the lengths of the empty canal. It was dark outside, but the street lights of New York illuminated the space around him. For Donnie, and other gay-ass-fag inventors, taking long walk outside was very soothing and calming. Like most of the time in a day of his, he was spending most of his energy on thinking deep thoughts during walks. He knew Mikey never meant anything bad by getting him men to fuck, but he was incredibly mad at him for not taking him seriously. However, there was more to that. Secretly, he was very shy and uncomfortable with the idea of sex, with both males and females. And since he knew Mikey, the gayest of the gay, who got his name from a gay Italian painter Buonarroti, would never get him a female, he thought the excuse he was using was effective. Although he was incredibly shy about it, he wanted to talk his issue out with his brothers. After reaching that decision, he made sure all the C4s were set correctly to detonate during the morning mass in the Trinity Church.

Returning back, he looked at the whole situation optimistically and was happily running back to the base. Opening the door it became apparent that the base was completely dark. He looked for the switch on a small lamp and as he flipped it he saw…

A NAKED MAN!

On the couch before Donnie laid a man who had his nether regions wrapped in a blanket and also his wrists bound and his mouth gagged. Snapping out of the shock, he quickly rushed to aid the man. As he went to make a quick lock-picking tool from two paperclips, Carl was very slowly, but surely, regaining consciousness on the bed. Unlocking the handcuffs and removing the ball gaga, the blanket fell and revealed Carl's gluteal godliness. It would be a breaking point to everybody who had a chance to see it. He could be their opponent, but the ass was fat. He had a penis, but the ass was fat. He was white but the ass was fat.

Donatello lost his sense of orientation for a second and fell on Carl's blandly colored, yet soft hair. He couldn't believe he was getting this sort of reaction from seeing an ass. He was blushing extremely, but couldn't help keeping his eyes off Carl's buns which were about ten times the size of Big Mac's from the early 1980s. Soon he looked a bit down and saw it, he got an erection. Though he would always ignore it, it was starting to get really difficult to do so. Never in his life did he get one this size, it was already enough to pass his navel and go as far as where his floating ribs were, and it wasn't even flaccid!

He was confused as hell at this moment. He didn't know why he was getting this kind of a response. It was a man's arse, big deal. He saw those every time he accidentally walked in on Splinter giving special training to Leonardo. But why would this specific one give him such arousal. His primal instincts were colliding with his morals in a downhill battle. He was almost thinking of putting it when suddenly…

"Exc-cuse-e me-e…"

Carl had already woken up.

"What are you doing?"

Noticing the impressively large penis in front of him, he could only stare in silence awkwardly. Then, noticing the position he was in, he quickly panicked and started to run away.

"Going somewhere?"

Michelangelo grabbed Carl before he could escape out through the door. He held his hands tightly and had one hand on his mouth, then he started to chuckle.

"Hehe, I knew that you would come to your senses!"

"Mikey, what the fuck? You were watching the whole time?"

"Indeed! It was quite interesting. Of course I knew you'd pull out some stupid stunt and unlock the guy's handcuffs so I had to guard. You gotta be more careful next time, Donnie!"

"…"

"Well, you're not gonna just let him go after all this? You're still nursing a semi dude!"

"I dunno, Mikey, I always felt awkward about…"

"Sex?"

"Yeah…"

"Eh you know, you should have told me sooner hehe, that would have cleared up a lot of stuff y'know? Don't be so closed, we're your brothers!"

"…Thanks Mikey…"

"Come on, aren't you a little curious about this?"

"Well, I might be…"

"You're gonna love it, Donnie!"

During this entire time, Carl was trying to scream under Michelangelo's hand, but only muffled whimpers came out. He couldn't run away due to the sheer strength in the grip that held his hands firmly in place. He soon started to cry from the realization that there was no escape from this nightmare.

"The only problem is, you probably broke those handcuffs by picking their locks. I had to settle for the low cost ones this time because I couldn't find the others. Now I don't mind helping you, but holding the hands in place is a bit tricky during sex, and we should make it into something special for your first time. I couldn't help much having to grip his hands, though." Michelangelo pondered, looking a bit worried.

"Well, why don't we use these then?" Donatello said, untying his headband.

"Eh, do you always have to be the brains of every operation?"

"Hehe, I suppose."

Donnie opened the door to a separate bedroom and turned on the lights, while Mikey carried the crying Carl to the bedroom and held him against the bed frame. Donnie came and tied Carl's hands to the bedframe using the headbands. He sat on Carl's legs to secure him in place. As Mikey took his hands off his mouth, he screamed and whimpered.

"P-PLEAS-SE L-LET ME GO!"

"You really need to put that mouth to a better use." Mikey said.

He took Donnie's fingers and jammed the two of them into Carl's mouth, muffling his pleading screams. Donnie blushed a bit as his huge-ass fingers got covered in saliva. Mikey snickered.

"There, now you have some free lubricant, bro."

Donnie took his hands out of Carl's mouth and slowly got them to his anus.

"NO PLEASE, DON'T DO IT! STOOO-

But alas, it was to late. Donnie's gargantuan fingers were already beginning to stretch the inner walls of Carl's untouched pooper. The sensations made Carl scream even more and Donnie was beginning to drool from the unique sensation. His cock getting harder and bigger every millisecond. Mikey also found himself enjoying it a lot more than he would've thought. Just as he was about to get in, a familiar voice shot in their ears.

"What are you two doing?" Leo asked from the darkness, a bit annoyed after being awaken from a long sleep.

Instantaneously, Mikey muffled Carl's screams with his fingers.

"We heard some screams, but this was the last thing we'd expect. Donnie, are you actually gay?"

"Well… I…" Donnie said, finding it hard to speak

"He's been through some major crap guys, leave the questions for later. Or do you wanna ruin his first time so badly?" Mikey stated, rushing to defend him.

"Alright, we'll leave th-"

"No, wait! Guys!" Donnie blurted out, "I wanna make this experience memorable, so I think it would be best if we were all here for this…"

Soon all the turtles were blushing. It was quite a weird scenario for some, and soon to be traumatizing for somebody too.

Leo and Raph took of their headbands and used them to tie Carl's legs to the pillars on the other side of the bed. Mikey took his hand off of Carl's mouth. They got on the sides of the bed and waited for Donnie's first time to begin. It felt very euphoric for the turtles, like a sacred ritual of observing the God's shepherd returning to the material world from death. They all quickly got their juices flowing and their erections also sprang up high. But no one of them could match up to Donnie's semi hard size, which he could easily suck if he wanted to, but he decided to wait for some other occasion.

"This is it," he thought, "the moment has arrived."

All of the turtles watched an amazement as Donnie pressed his junk against Carl's trunk. With the help of turtle saliva which doesn't evaporate for a long time, Donnie slowly slid the entire head of his third leg into Carl's boypussy. It was merely the head, but due to it's sheer size, it made Carl let out a piercing scream as his anal cavity expanded over ten times in radius when he had Donnie's finger inside. The heavens were pierced. He kept putting his sausage deeper and deeper. Inch by inch. Decimeter by decimeter. Meter by meter. Carl finally gave up on pleading and asking them to stop, but the excess pressure in his anus would not give him a chance to rest his vocal cords as he continued screaming.

"YEAH TAKE IT, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

As Donnie's pepperoni hit Carl's gushy marmalade-like cherry-red prostate gland, Carl's screams quieted and turned into moans. Donnie found this pretty hot, but Leonardo was getting pretty needy, and stroking his dick didn't prove to be enough for him, he jammed his dick right into Carl's mouth; readjusting when he accidentally penetrated into his breathing passage and set off for his digestive system instead. Carl was choking, but used some ancient technique he found on deep web articles about erotic asphyxiation to breathe via cell diffusion on his skin, which helped a lot.

Raph said he would be back in a minute and left the room. Mikey got under Carl and placed his cock next to Donnie's half penetrating shaft. This made Carl move upper and he swallowed more of Leo's penis, who was now in his stomach. Luckily Carl never ate today, so there was no gastric acid in the stomach. Mikey started to push his penis into the other side of Carl's self esteem hole and got it more and more inside; stretching it in an incredibly wide radius, which also allowed him to frot with Donnie at the same time.

"DAMN, THIS SO TIGHT BRO! UNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Donnie was amazed; he never thought it would feel this good. He bottomed his penis out, passing from the anal cavity, through the colon and small intestine, his cockhead protruding to the other orifice in the stomach, where his schlong touched Leo's.

This set him on fire.

He started to vigorously thrust his knob in and out, getting Mikey's dick further in and accelerating at a great rate. He then heard somebody approaching and the next thing he felt…

Raph jammed his dingus that he previously wrapped in pizza into Donnie's chocolate starfish. Donnie wasn't expecting this to happen, but kept penetrating the white boi as his jammy prostate got a full body massage. He started moaning a bit, setting Raph to increase his speed. Meanwhile, Mikey was getting the ride of his life. With Donnie's dick moving his in and out he didn't even have to move. It was quite warm under the milk twink and it just made his dong swell. It wasn't bigger than Donnie's, albeit it still surprised him as it was easy to feel a change when so much of the passageway was covered by him. Donnie suddenly grew a bit tired from thrusting, but still remained erect, both due to Mikey starting to thrust and with Raph's wiener exploring his love cave.

Carl's diffusion magic was starting to wear off so he signaled Leo to get his dick out by pretending to gag. Leo hurried, since he didn't want the bedsheets to get messy. He noticed Donnie needed some variation for the moment.

"Now Donnie, stop doing that for a moment." Leo told him, "You still haven't seen other alternatives to it…"

Donnie got up and slid his bratwurst out of cornhole, sliding Mikey's out as well. Raph slid out of him and put the pizza down for later use. Leo got him and the others to stand over Carl. As they did, they started to urinate over him. Carl wasn't able to say no due to too much urine building up in his mouth. He had to drink fast so he doesn't drown in piss. Some of Donnie's liquid gold fell on Carl's hair, making it blonde and shiny and beautiful. The piss spread all over Carl's face, falling into his nose and mouth only to completely heal his respiratory and digestive systems. After emptying their bladder completely, they wondered what they should do next. Mikey had an idea.

They untied Carl, since they believed he wouldn't have the spirit to escape anymore, and they were right. They all sat on the bed and placed their snaked next to each other, a 90 degree angle between each one of them. Then Raph, wrapped all of them in a pizza he reheated in a microwave to minimize loss of work in the thermodynamic heat engine they were about to constitute. With their dicks wrapped in a pizza burrito, they slowly slid Carl onto the quadruple penis monster. It was risky, since old prophecy foretold that if a human is penetrated with four turtle penises, great chaos and mayhem shall be released. But Donnie's newfound spirit pushed them forward to continue. Soon Carl's love hole was covering all four penises, the pizza warming him.

Carl moaned like hell, as they slid him up and down on the four monster cocks. The friction from the four thrusts was unbelievable, breaking laws of logic and causality. Reaching 69 terahertz frequency, the entropy in the heat engine increased too much and started decomposing reality. New York started to distort and melt, and it was soon that the whole world would start to act the same.

Mikey, Leo and Raph's penises were starting to get their skin ripped, and so were Carl's inner walls, well, more severely than before. They had all started to melt and decompose into gush like demons. But not Donnie, he wouldn't let demons rise from this purehearted and natural way of showing love to thy neighbour. He wouldn't let the demons destroy the human and his brothers he loved so dearly. He would never let the ones he loved the most turn into pink globs of dead semen and cancerogenic unshaved clitorises.

He took his magic stick that he fought with and shoved it the furthest he could in his anus to reach his prostate, and as he did, he knew it all. The demons who shifted into the love organs of those who were only there to love each other. And he was sick of it.

He started to piece back globs of Carl's hamburger buns and used them to stimulate the tip of his penis, he did it harder and faster and was finally approaching the great climax. Fucking the bloody decomposing ass was the best feeling he could ever experience.

He came 8,75x10^45 teragallons in total. Having so much fear inside of him, and now releasing it broke all laws relating to energy, creating a massive amount of energy, and destroying the demons in the meantime. His semen covering the entire realms of the universe, changing Milky Way's name to Semen Way, breaking all physical laws and twisting the reality just for the sake of his wish. His wish to bring hope into mankind and the entire universe as well. His babyjuice having been teleported in every dimension, he rose to a higher plane of existence, carrying Carl with him.

Leaving the human world with Carl, who he fell in love with, to become one and have sex and orgasm eternally in all timespace outside of the world as we know it. He left a message to his brothers, his only proof of existence being their memories of him.

Mikey, Leo and Raph were incredibly saddened with Donnie leaving them, but they knew he left the material world for the sake of the sins of all humanity and saving everybody from the ultimate destruction. Those demons were the true cause of so much misery and sadness in this world, and by sacrificing himself, he saved everybody. They were very proud to have such a brave brother. They dedicated years and years of threeways to him, sometimes even kidnapping new people to bless others and spread the gospel of Donatello.

Sadly, almost nobody believed the gospel of the lord and savior Donatello, and this made them very sad. For sacrificing his entire life for humanity it was this he got in the end. They went mad, still having threeways to calm down though. Mad at humanity, they decided to brainwash people into becoming their members. When they got enough of them, they were ready to start with their siege against humanity. And they would start on

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September 11, 2001


End file.
